I m here listening to the Beatles, more specifically "Yesterday". I live in a city and am surrounded by thousands and yet today I feel so alone. I am tired of working to what seems to be no end... but I will pick myself up and carry on. I have not heard back from the musical I was supposed to be cast in, nor from the band seeking a new lead singer and I have not heard from the photographer I was supposed to meet. I also have not heard from the agency in Los Angeles, nor have I heard from my boyfriend. I know this sounds like the worst self pity party ever... I do not pity myself, I am just venting to the internet. Now that I am not working full time it gives me more time to think and that is not always good. A great friend of mine says " your mind is like a beautiful crystal clear lake, then a pebble falls into the water creating ripples. The ripples continue to grow until the entire lake is muddy and clear vision is impaired." He goes on to say " Do not be disturbed by little pebbles that fall into your life. control your mind and you control your future".
I just feel so alone and abandoned today. I know it shall pass.... but it is sad today. http://www.facebook.com/RichieLillard
Monday, February 7, 2011
Love
You may ask" what else is new?"
It would seem that I have "been in love'' a few times. Looking back with fondness, I can truly say that I was in love with them. The funny thing is that I am STILL in love with them... only it is different.I look back and am thankful that each one was in my life. I loved some of them for their kindness, and others for their sense of humor. I remember the student from mexico, the interior designer, the dancer and I have no doubt that these men loved me too.
Yet, the man that I wish to marry, the man that is my friend and lover is a cyclist and he is the kindest and sweetest man I have ever known. He told me he was there to empower me and he did and continues to do so. When we met there was an instant attraction from both parties, though he sometimes does not know how to deal with my Cheshire cat smile. However, looming amid our love affair is the thought that I will soon be moving for work.
He is so very special to me and I cannot stand the thought that we will be alone in our beds. When I think of not being able to kiss and hug him, I feel like crying. I know we will always be friends but as a human heart, i need his touch.
http://www.modelmayhem.com/1947030
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