"Born, Porn, Torn" A warning to actors

"Born, Torn, Porn" A warning to all actors.


I went to a "casting call" after reading about this independent film on a reputable actors site. I submitted myself for a paid position as the antagonist and to my elation I got the audition. I was really excited as I am not usually cast as anything but the most loved and well liked person, which I feel makes me too one sided. I had learned my lesson on other projects and decided I will not do art for free, so the first words out of my mouth were " How much do I get paid?" the answer was given that he did not have the budget planned out and that even when he does it will be a small budget. I then asked about the shoot schedule and was given the same half answer. I decided to play along for a minute as sometimes the project is worth some frustration. He began to tell me the plot line and I must admit I found it very intriguing. It was a psychological thriller full of twists and turns. At the point he almost had me he announced that the film is "kind of a porno".

I am not holier than thou and have often considered working in the adult business. I have been very desperate at times, both financially and the never ending need for someone to tell me that I am attractive. Though I turned him down, I wonder if my answer would have been different had he offered me a thousand, or five thousand, or twenty thousand. Would I allow myself to be bought and sold as nothing but an object? Yet with these questions running through my mind, I stop and contemplate on how everyday I sell myself. I go out there in front of casting agents and film directors and again I am that same frightened young man saying "please love me" and  "please tell me I am worthy". I sell myself everyday, but so does the world. To prove this point, why is it that we do not jump and laugh and sing when we feel like it? It is for the same reason of " Please like me, please tell me I am worthy. please let me be like you."

I am not suggesting that we go to the nearest street corner, though if that IS something you want to do, then do it but make certain you are paid well for it. I am just tired and I say two things
(#1. there is no rest for the weary
(#2. beauty sleep is only for those that need it.
If you are talented, go sell yourself in the way that is going to make you the happiest.


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